oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
