Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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