I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just tell him i said nine months
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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