I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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