It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
