Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
