thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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