her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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