I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
