She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
