There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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