I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize