What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My first STD was from a foam party
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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