I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
