Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
