Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
