No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
