Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
