I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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