I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
