If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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