God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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