Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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