I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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