I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize