Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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