get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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