Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The Olympian is in my bed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
