who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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