Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
