He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
