We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
