She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
