Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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