if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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