Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize