i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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