You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You can't special order awesome
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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