I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
