11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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