Quick, to the slutcave!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
