he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
