New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
