I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
