i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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