We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
