I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
