At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
