Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
