so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
