It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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