I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
