never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
