My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
