your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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