Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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