Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
