My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
