went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize