What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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