You made me cry and you don't even care
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
