Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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