remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize