Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
